3/4/17 5:21pm
Listening to 2017 best of mrsuicidesheep seeking blue releases
So I'm on my way back from a hackathon in austin with some friends from school. Truth is we didn't do a whole lot, of hacking, it was more of an super fast intro to data and querying in the form of traffic data from sensors around austin Texas. The first work shop was terrible because I didn't have any terminal software on my windows computer, but since our ability to effectively participate was hampered so much we installed virtual box and powered up Ubuntu in a virtual machine on each of our laptops which would have allowed us to participate had we done it in time, but alas, it wasn't to be.
I don't know, really, I thought it was really interesting. Not the best hackathon in the world, but certainly a start.
Aside from having to steadily chug coffee monster drinks to stay awake to catch up on homework, there really isn't a whole lot going on.
Oh, got a new phone, the nomu s30 from China. It's an Android phone, and I think it's pretty awesome. Microsoft just kept letting me down, the windows phone had to go. Im still going to keep it around in case I ever need the great camera it has.
3/15/17 12:17am
I'm almost 3 weeks behind in my digital systems class, but a week ahead in my office class. I think I might have to drop this ds class, I just don't know…
3/26/17 10:18pm
Listening to: 24/7 Lofi HipHop Radio - Beats to Study & Relax
So it turns out I did end up dropping that class. Everything was fine up until half way into the semester before shit got real. Fell too far behind, and when I went to the teachers office to ask for help/discuss how realistic me passing was he wasn’t there and didn’t answer his phone. I figured I didn’t have time for this, dropped the class, and emailed him why. Will just have to take it again later in a face to face class.
My birthday was on the 17th, had a beer with dad, hated the beer. Bought some chocolate wine thinking I might like it, had half a glass before pouring the bottle in the sink after discovering that I don’t like drinks that taste like semi sweet cough syrup.
Thought I would never drink again until I found some hard root beer at my store, took it home saying "if I don’t like this then that’s it for me and alcohol."
I drank half the case of 6 that night.
Don’t get me wrong, I'm not going to turn into raging alcoholic, but I can see my self having a hard root beer every now and then.
That stuff is nice.
Finally registered my own domain and built website via blogger templates to host my professional blog/portfolio. Even started a YouTube channel to go along with it. Even set up a professional email to use as my main one instead of "kilroywashere21@gmail.com" Will eventually post things and make videos through those mediums related to my journey to become a software developer.
No I will not post links to any of those here.
Which leads me to my last point:
This will be my last journal entry.
Its been…an interesting ride…woah, I'm looking at my post archive now and it says I started back in October of 2015. So almost a year and a half.
Oh how time flies.
If I want to succeed in life I cant keep focusing time and energy on things that aren't helping me to become a better person. I have no need to look over my past, because not only is that not me anymore, its holding me back every time I waste time thinking about it when I could be thinking about who I could be and how to become that person. I will not forget the lessons I have learned since I started this blog, I would like to think that for the most part they have changed me for the better. But there is no use dwelling on the past.
Yesterday is over.
Tomorrow is almost here, and with it shall come new challenges.
Wish me luck.
Cheers :)
THE JOURNAL OF A RATHER DISILLUSIONED YOUNG MAN. UPDATES NORMALLY ON THE 1st OF THE MONTH.
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
JE#34
Thursday, March 2, 2017
JE#33
2/9/17 12:00am
Down loading the Lord of War, "legally" of course.
It amazes me that piracy isn't a bigger issue than it is. God only knows how the music industry manages to stay alive.
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
JE# 32
1/3/17 11:20pm
Listening to Fragile (feat. Hailee Steinfeld)
For Christmas I got a raspberry pi 3, yesterday got a 1TB external hard drive from a pawn shop (previous owner didn’t wipe it before they sold it; meh, no viruses but I did go through their stuff…hey, their fault anyway, I tried to alert who I thought was the previous owner via Facebook to let them know but no response, nothing interesting on it anyway) and spent the time between then and now trying to get it to mount to the pi so I could use it as file server. Only just succeeded about an hour ago. Tomorrow I will start backing up all of my stuff. All in all, I think this was a great educational exercise. Would be nice to see if I can find someplace to print a custom case my new server…
1/4/17 10:04pm
Listening to 'On Pain' -Ernst Junker Book review by Better than food book reviews on YouTube
Backing up a lot of my stuff to my server, taking forever, but so far I have all of my music.
1/10/17 6:49pm
Listening to Indie-Folk Compilation 2014
Allergies combined with nasal congestion have pretty much ruined my day so far. I cant imagine where all of this damned mucus is stored in my head, or how many t-shirts I have had to use as handkerchiefs today. I went to bed at 12am and woke up at 5am because I couldn’t breathe out of my nose, it wasn’t as bad then as it is now; I am literally wearing a (clean) t-shirt tied around my head covering my nose like a bandanna to try and filter out what ever contamination is causing me to have such a bad reaction today, and speaking of allergies, isn't it way to damn early to be going through this?
Its only January!?
Downloading all of my music to my tablet right now through my server, about half way done and everything seems to be working fine.
Got my school books yesterday, was able to rent 2 of them through amazon which saved me about $200, but the rest of my books had to be bought from the school which cost $437. This semester will be the first time I take a full 4 classes, and despite my sudden onset of allergies I still plan to read the first 2 chapters or so of my books in an effort to get a head start. Already finished the first chapter out of my C++ book.
1/16/17 8:42pm
Lets say I finish my degree on time. I self study for a little while, maybe get a good junior position somewhere and start my career in IT.
Is that it?
Lets say I get a wife, we get married and live happily ever after.
Is that it?
Lets say I eventually get promoted, become well off financially and start a family by having a few kids.
Is that it?
Okay, lets say I fulfill my dream, eventually build my little fortress of solitude in some shape or form in some remote place where I can live out the rest of my days without relying on anyone else for anything.
Is that it?
Or maybe I get my own boat, sail around the world.
Is that it?
Will that, any of that, be enough?
I don’t know.
No matter what I imagine, I cant think of anything that would truly make me feel complete.
9:07pm
You know, a movie I have appreciated more every time I watch it is Watchman. I can not express how brilliant I think it is, on par with even the greatest of epics. I especially love what I consider to be the genius of the plight Doctor Manhattan. Its general depiction, though at times most excessive, of a dirty, gritty, and cruel society.
10:25pm
Listen to Tourist by Witt Lowry
School starts tomorrow. I'm…scared.
4 classes…
Cranking things into full gear now. Full steam ahead, there's much work to be done in such a short amount of time. Juggling a part time job with 32 hours a week at the max and 4 classes. I'm scared I wont make it, that I cant do it, that I wont be able to take it, that I might crumble under the weight or not be able to measure up. Hell, they say people have juggled full time jobs and raising a family while getting their degree, so why shouldn't I be able to complete this task I have undertaken?
Why do I feel so inadequate?
Why cant I be one of those guys that are like, "Fuck it, I got this no worries," and not question my own abilities? Why is it that no matter what I do or where I go I still feel like I don’t belong.
1/18/17 9:40pm
Listening to Galaxies by Owl City
Thank god I invested in a comfortable office chair! When not at school today I have spent almost all of my time home here in this chair, and I have to say that although my ass hurts it could be much worse had I bought some cheap garbage to sit in. So far I have read everything required to do the first round of lessons for my classes, the next few days will be focused on actually doing the work assignments them selves. I believe that my digital fundamentals class with its bread boards and wires will be the most complicated and hard to understand. That box kit full of a plethora of electrical components is so…daunting.
2/1/17 8:25pm
Dad caught me jerking off last week, so its been awkward as hell even though we have addressed the issue, severely behind on my reading assignments for class. Discovered Krista isnt really into sex (so she says), but that still doesn’t change the way I feel about her.
Listening to Fragile (feat. Hailee Steinfeld)
For Christmas I got a raspberry pi 3, yesterday got a 1TB external hard drive from a pawn shop (previous owner didn’t wipe it before they sold it; meh, no viruses but I did go through their stuff…hey, their fault anyway, I tried to alert who I thought was the previous owner via Facebook to let them know but no response, nothing interesting on it anyway) and spent the time between then and now trying to get it to mount to the pi so I could use it as file server. Only just succeeded about an hour ago. Tomorrow I will start backing up all of my stuff. All in all, I think this was a great educational exercise. Would be nice to see if I can find someplace to print a custom case my new server…
1/4/17 10:04pm
Listening to 'On Pain' -Ernst Junker Book review by Better than food book reviews on YouTube
Backing up a lot of my stuff to my server, taking forever, but so far I have all of my music.
1/10/17 6:49pm
Listening to Indie-Folk Compilation 2014
Allergies combined with nasal congestion have pretty much ruined my day so far. I cant imagine where all of this damned mucus is stored in my head, or how many t-shirts I have had to use as handkerchiefs today. I went to bed at 12am and woke up at 5am because I couldn’t breathe out of my nose, it wasn’t as bad then as it is now; I am literally wearing a (clean) t-shirt tied around my head covering my nose like a bandanna to try and filter out what ever contamination is causing me to have such a bad reaction today, and speaking of allergies, isn't it way to damn early to be going through this?
Its only January!?
Downloading all of my music to my tablet right now through my server, about half way done and everything seems to be working fine.
Got my school books yesterday, was able to rent 2 of them through amazon which saved me about $200, but the rest of my books had to be bought from the school which cost $437. This semester will be the first time I take a full 4 classes, and despite my sudden onset of allergies I still plan to read the first 2 chapters or so of my books in an effort to get a head start. Already finished the first chapter out of my C++ book.
1/16/17 8:42pm
Lets say I finish my degree on time. I self study for a little while, maybe get a good junior position somewhere and start my career in IT.
Is that it?
Lets say I get a wife, we get married and live happily ever after.
Is that it?
Lets say I eventually get promoted, become well off financially and start a family by having a few kids.
Is that it?
Okay, lets say I fulfill my dream, eventually build my little fortress of solitude in some shape or form in some remote place where I can live out the rest of my days without relying on anyone else for anything.
Is that it?
Or maybe I get my own boat, sail around the world.
Is that it?
Will that, any of that, be enough?
I don’t know.
No matter what I imagine, I cant think of anything that would truly make me feel complete.
9:07pm
You know, a movie I have appreciated more every time I watch it is Watchman. I can not express how brilliant I think it is, on par with even the greatest of epics. I especially love what I consider to be the genius of the plight Doctor Manhattan. Its general depiction, though at times most excessive, of a dirty, gritty, and cruel society.
10:25pm
Listen to Tourist by Witt Lowry
School starts tomorrow. I'm…scared.
4 classes…
Cranking things into full gear now. Full steam ahead, there's much work to be done in such a short amount of time. Juggling a part time job with 32 hours a week at the max and 4 classes. I'm scared I wont make it, that I cant do it, that I wont be able to take it, that I might crumble under the weight or not be able to measure up. Hell, they say people have juggled full time jobs and raising a family while getting their degree, so why shouldn't I be able to complete this task I have undertaken?
Why do I feel so inadequate?
Why cant I be one of those guys that are like, "Fuck it, I got this no worries," and not question my own abilities? Why is it that no matter what I do or where I go I still feel like I don’t belong.
1/18/17 9:40pm
Listening to Galaxies by Owl City
Thank god I invested in a comfortable office chair! When not at school today I have spent almost all of my time home here in this chair, and I have to say that although my ass hurts it could be much worse had I bought some cheap garbage to sit in. So far I have read everything required to do the first round of lessons for my classes, the next few days will be focused on actually doing the work assignments them selves. I believe that my digital fundamentals class with its bread boards and wires will be the most complicated and hard to understand. That box kit full of a plethora of electrical components is so…daunting.
2/1/17 8:25pm
Dad caught me jerking off last week, so its been awkward as hell even though we have addressed the issue, severely behind on my reading assignments for class. Discovered Krista isnt really into sex (so she says), but that still doesn’t change the way I feel about her.
Sunday, January 1, 2017
JE#31 MIGHT HAVE TO MOVE
12/13/16 1:12pm
Listening to Masterpiece Theater 1-3 by Marianas Trench
I know that I passed my Programming logic and design class with a 96, I'm still waiting on the other grades to be input by my teachers.
Dad made the promotions list, he is going to go to school for 9 months to become a sergeant major. At first we were all under the impression that we would all stay here while he left for school, kind of like a regular deployment, but Amy told me yesterday that its looking more and more like we will have to go with him. She said that as far as I am concerned, I could either come with them and transfer to a Walmart and college there, specifically to el paso community college. Or, I could stay here, but I would have to live on campus in the dorms. Living in the dorms would add an additional $1700 to my student loans every semester, which would rack up my total estimated student debt to a little over $20,000 if I finish my degree in 2 years.
I don’t want to move. I like the current job and school set up I have, and while they are not the best at least they are relatively stable. I have looked at the el paso community computer science degree plans, and they are a complete joke so that’s not an option at all, which means going with my family isn't an option at all.
Listening to 2016 Best Melodic Dubstep Mix
I will NOT be peer pressured into going 20K in debt by my parents just to appease them or make them happy if I choose to stay here.
Fuck that.
So that leaves me 2 options if they move, I either have to find a room to rent, preferably with 1 or 2 room mates to split rent down to a manageable level; or find a way to live in my car.
Honestly, as bad as it seems, I'm leaning more towards living in my car. By no means will it be easy, but I have a general Idea of how I could make it work.
My main motivation is to save money. As of now I can put away a little over $500 every month with the current hours my job gives me. The family wont leave until June/July so barring any unexpected major expenses I should be able to put away almost $3000 between now and then.
By far gas will be the largest expected increase in my budget. A few modifications will have to be made to my car, such as finding a way to put up mosquito net on a few of my windows so I can crack them at night to let air in but keep bugs out, and putting a pad down in the trunk that I can sleep on when I pull my back seats forward and down.
Showering can be easily taken care of by buying a monthly membership to a 24/7 gym with showers, so that will take care of hygiene for the most part.
A lot of other things will have to be done, but that’s just what I can think of off the top of my head at the moment.
Internet access will not really be a problem, my job has free wifi, as do my school and most libraries, and my phone plan has 3gb of 4G data and unlimited 2G data after that.
Electricity will be a minor hindrance, but with the help of a few portable large capacity power banks that I can charge at work and school (I have one 10,000mah already, I can easily get several better ones) it shouldn’t be too much of a big deal. I will need an address, so I will have to rent out a UPS mail box for the duration of this situation, which will solve the issue of needing an address I can use on official forms as well as getting mail.
I can sleep in my car, though I will have to do so in different places every night, never staying in the same place more than once per week, and changing the days I do decide to sleep there at random so as to not create any noticeable pattern. Great care will have to be taken to become as inconspicuous as possible. Might even need to tint the windows as much is legally allowed.
Food and food storage will be an issue. My eating habits will have to change since I will lose use of an easily accessible oven, microwave, refrigerator, and cabinet to store things in. Eating out extra isn't an option since the extra cost isn't worth the extra accessibility. My job has several microwaves, refrigerators, and a single toaster oven, so while I can store some things there and cook them it will be in a limited capacity. School also has a microwave in the student lounge, so there is that. I know I cant survive on junk, so buying it will have to be kept at a minimum while I buy more fruits, vegetables, and other things I can eat within a few hours unless its fine to store in my car for a few days such as canned foods. Staying healthy is a must.
Will have to keep the car clean and organized because I cant stand clutter, keep up with oil changes, insurance, and make sure the whole thing is taken care of and kept in good condition.
Overall, my lifestyle will have to change drastically, but aside from the initial investment in materials, supplies, etc., I only anticipate my monthly cost of living to go up, say, $150? And that’s being a tad bit overzealous.
In march when I turn 21 I can apply to get my concealed carry permit, then buy a handgun, but up until then I can carry a knife for protection since I am going to be on my own.
All in all, that’s $644 a month I will need to live in my car and carry on going to school and working.
….
….
….
Now, having said all of that, I could move with them…but I just think the whole thing would be detrimental to my education and job. Hell, I could even rent a room with a few people if I was okay with living paycheck to paycheck.
But I am not okay with that. I am soooooooooo not okay with any of that.
My parents have already expressed…great displeasure with my thoughts on living in my car. I don’t blame them, I think it sucks too. But unlike them, I think its much preferable to do this than go 20k in debt over a 2 year degree.
12/29/16 6:07pm
Listening to the tip of the iceberg by owl city
Christmas was great, though it seems to have come and go far too fast, even faster than last year. I got the raspberry pi 3 I wanted, and after 5 days of continuous failure I finally managed to turn it into a file server, albeit one that can (currently) only be accessed on our local network. I was deliberating over whether or not I wanted to add an external hard drive to it to boost the storage from the 16gb sd card it currently has, but what with my pending relocation here in 5 months I doubt it would be worth it. This was mainly meant to be an educational exercise more than anything else, but so far I have still managed to learn a few things while having my hand held by YouTube tutorials.
Even though school is out I am still trying to educate my self in my off time, for instance I am almost done watching a 6 hour video on YouTube about data structures and algorithms. When im done, I think I will get a small head start on my c++ class by watching some more tutorials by the same guy that helped me better understand HTML and css. Lord knows that taking 4 classes this semester is going to be painful.
…
Oh, if I disnt mention it yet, Deanna Holmes came back, she just didnt pay her phone bill or something along those lines.
Also, found out I passed my 3 classes with 2 A's and a B.
Listening to Masterpiece Theater 1-3 by Marianas Trench
I know that I passed my Programming logic and design class with a 96, I'm still waiting on the other grades to be input by my teachers.
Dad made the promotions list, he is going to go to school for 9 months to become a sergeant major. At first we were all under the impression that we would all stay here while he left for school, kind of like a regular deployment, but Amy told me yesterday that its looking more and more like we will have to go with him. She said that as far as I am concerned, I could either come with them and transfer to a Walmart and college there, specifically to el paso community college. Or, I could stay here, but I would have to live on campus in the dorms. Living in the dorms would add an additional $1700 to my student loans every semester, which would rack up my total estimated student debt to a little over $20,000 if I finish my degree in 2 years.
I don’t want to move. I like the current job and school set up I have, and while they are not the best at least they are relatively stable. I have looked at the el paso community computer science degree plans, and they are a complete joke so that’s not an option at all, which means going with my family isn't an option at all.
Listening to 2016 Best Melodic Dubstep Mix
I will NOT be peer pressured into going 20K in debt by my parents just to appease them or make them happy if I choose to stay here.
Fuck that.
So that leaves me 2 options if they move, I either have to find a room to rent, preferably with 1 or 2 room mates to split rent down to a manageable level; or find a way to live in my car.
Honestly, as bad as it seems, I'm leaning more towards living in my car. By no means will it be easy, but I have a general Idea of how I could make it work.
My main motivation is to save money. As of now I can put away a little over $500 every month with the current hours my job gives me. The family wont leave until June/July so barring any unexpected major expenses I should be able to put away almost $3000 between now and then.
By far gas will be the largest expected increase in my budget. A few modifications will have to be made to my car, such as finding a way to put up mosquito net on a few of my windows so I can crack them at night to let air in but keep bugs out, and putting a pad down in the trunk that I can sleep on when I pull my back seats forward and down.
Showering can be easily taken care of by buying a monthly membership to a 24/7 gym with showers, so that will take care of hygiene for the most part.
A lot of other things will have to be done, but that’s just what I can think of off the top of my head at the moment.
Internet access will not really be a problem, my job has free wifi, as do my school and most libraries, and my phone plan has 3gb of 4G data and unlimited 2G data after that.
Electricity will be a minor hindrance, but with the help of a few portable large capacity power banks that I can charge at work and school (I have one 10,000mah already, I can easily get several better ones) it shouldn’t be too much of a big deal. I will need an address, so I will have to rent out a UPS mail box for the duration of this situation, which will solve the issue of needing an address I can use on official forms as well as getting mail.
I can sleep in my car, though I will have to do so in different places every night, never staying in the same place more than once per week, and changing the days I do decide to sleep there at random so as to not create any noticeable pattern. Great care will have to be taken to become as inconspicuous as possible. Might even need to tint the windows as much is legally allowed.
Food and food storage will be an issue. My eating habits will have to change since I will lose use of an easily accessible oven, microwave, refrigerator, and cabinet to store things in. Eating out extra isn't an option since the extra cost isn't worth the extra accessibility. My job has several microwaves, refrigerators, and a single toaster oven, so while I can store some things there and cook them it will be in a limited capacity. School also has a microwave in the student lounge, so there is that. I know I cant survive on junk, so buying it will have to be kept at a minimum while I buy more fruits, vegetables, and other things I can eat within a few hours unless its fine to store in my car for a few days such as canned foods. Staying healthy is a must.
Will have to keep the car clean and organized because I cant stand clutter, keep up with oil changes, insurance, and make sure the whole thing is taken care of and kept in good condition.
Overall, my lifestyle will have to change drastically, but aside from the initial investment in materials, supplies, etc., I only anticipate my monthly cost of living to go up, say, $150? And that’s being a tad bit overzealous.
In march when I turn 21 I can apply to get my concealed carry permit, then buy a handgun, but up until then I can carry a knife for protection since I am going to be on my own.
All in all, that’s $644 a month I will need to live in my car and carry on going to school and working.
….
….
….
Now, having said all of that, I could move with them…but I just think the whole thing would be detrimental to my education and job. Hell, I could even rent a room with a few people if I was okay with living paycheck to paycheck.
But I am not okay with that. I am soooooooooo not okay with any of that.
My parents have already expressed…great displeasure with my thoughts on living in my car. I don’t blame them, I think it sucks too. But unlike them, I think its much preferable to do this than go 20k in debt over a 2 year degree.
12/29/16 6:07pm
Listening to the tip of the iceberg by owl city
Christmas was great, though it seems to have come and go far too fast, even faster than last year. I got the raspberry pi 3 I wanted, and after 5 days of continuous failure I finally managed to turn it into a file server, albeit one that can (currently) only be accessed on our local network. I was deliberating over whether or not I wanted to add an external hard drive to it to boost the storage from the 16gb sd card it currently has, but what with my pending relocation here in 5 months I doubt it would be worth it. This was mainly meant to be an educational exercise more than anything else, but so far I have still managed to learn a few things while having my hand held by YouTube tutorials.
Even though school is out I am still trying to educate my self in my off time, for instance I am almost done watching a 6 hour video on YouTube about data structures and algorithms. When im done, I think I will get a small head start on my c++ class by watching some more tutorials by the same guy that helped me better understand HTML and css. Lord knows that taking 4 classes this semester is going to be painful.
…
Oh, if I disnt mention it yet, Deanna Holmes came back, she just didnt pay her phone bill or something along those lines.
Also, found out I passed my 3 classes with 2 A's and a B.
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