JE#23 MOVING ON

6/3/2016 2:55am

Listening to: Game Over by Falling in Reverse



Yesterday I stayed up an extra 3 hours to get my first car, a 2005 Kia with almost 88000 miles on it foe $4700 total. Its cool, though I can feel my legs vibrate when I get up into the 80mph range.
After watching a bunch of YouTube videos I finally managed to get the MinGW compiler to work, soon after I created, compiled, and executed my first "hello world" program.



6/12/16 10:43pm

Listening to Skrillex ft. Krewella -Breath (vocal edit)



A lot happened over the past 2 weeks regarding my ex. Started talking for a few days about everything that happened, was finally able to vent my frustrations. She is engaged to the new guy, but knows I could have ended her "happy ever after" before it ever really had a chance to take off. Her marriage, bearing his children, and her happily growing old with him...I could have crushed all of that, I held complete control over whether her future was bright and wonderful or dark and full of despair. We talked about that for a few days, what it would have meant and the obvious repercussions of it all if that's what I chose to do.

After talking about that for a few days...after I had her tell me all of her plans and long term goals ...I saw that she and the new guy both believed, really believed that after all of the terrible things that had happened to them through out their lives, that they had a decent chance to build something great together, to make a happy marriage that would last and lead a happy life.

Knowing that I was the only thing standing in their way, I was the one who actually decided if they would get the chance or not. I took a few minuets to think about her response where she laid everything out for me, her entire world she wanted to build without me...and it didn't make me angry like all of her other responses about him did.

I messaged her back and said:

"Have your happy ending then."