JE#3

10/14/2015 4:59am



I want to say that I am dejected and morose, but I can't even claim that because I know I am not truly depressed. I am...tired. More so than physically, I mean emotionally. Tired of living the way I do, tired of looking at all of my possible futures and seeing how I become a slave to so many things be it wage or otherwise. I'm tired of always waiting, of waking up everyday with nothing to do but work, sleep, or "hang out" around the house or the base or computers. Since I graduated from high school in May I have been in a degenerative state mentally. I didn't want to go to college because I jacked around when I was in school, so now even with all of the discounts and not including books or anything els, I would have to pay close to $1000 before I even took a math class that mattered. As was predicted by everyone, I though I knew better.

So now that the navy has fallen through I wait for the army recruiter to call me back on the status of my enlistment packet. Despite how much I want to get into the military I am pretty sure I wont be able to get into the army either. Thanks mom, all of those useless doctors visits and loading me up on pills because you didn't want to actually take the time to raise me really paid off. Now I'm on the road to being just as broken as you if all els fails. 8:26am Dad just left to go to Spain for a month to train. I knew he was leaving soon but didn't find out until just a few hours before he left.