JE#4

10/15/2015 9:34am

Listening to: Amnesia by 5 seconds of summer


I just took 2 tablets of Benadryl even though I had one an hour or two ago, should put me to sleep in about half an hour. I am sad. Figures the only thing within reach that could give me a moments respite would be some form of drugs. At least I don't have to feel this while asleep, this pain in my heart.

And you know what's even more stereotypical than listening to a sad song while being sad? It's listening to a sad song while being sad about a girl.

Naturally its a beautiful day outside.

It's always about a girl isn't it?
Rhetorical question, don't answer that.

We haven't spoken in months and today I finally brought myself to delete every picture of her I have. What's sucks is that my mind knows this whole process is stupid, but my heart feels like this is the end of the world.

Funny, the situation im in. I could honestly laugh a little about how crappy this is; but all I wish I could do is sleep for months at a time. Let this crazy world wiz by while I just lay here and dream. Who needs them, who needs her? Fuck em all and their cruel heart-torturing ways.

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Oh god, who am I kidding? I miss her so much it hurts why does it hurt why can't these tablets work faster so I don't have to feel this!?