JE#7 THE AFTERMATH

12/21/2015 8:56am

Listening to: If You Could See Me Now by The Script


Isn't it amazing how you can have a relatively good day, and right before its over something happens to ruin all the good that was done? I am not particularly interested in describing what happened today, just know that I tend to stay in my room away from my family because when im around them it causes friction. Crap like that Is why I try not to be around you people, not because I don't love you, its because I'm so fucking tired of getting in trouble for telling it how it is and not having your habit of sugar coating everything as it comes out of my mouth.


Anyway, after the army failed to come through as my back up plan for the Navy, I eventually got a job at Walmart as an overnight stocker a little over 2 months after I graduated. Its definitely not the best job in the world, but it beats my old job at Popeyes Louisiana Chicken. Its not near as bad as the horror stories I read online while I was researching the company before I applied; but at least I have a job, the way the economy I right now, some people don't even have that. I thought I wouldn't be there more than a month, next thing you know its been over 6 months.
As of now I'm trying to go to college online to get an associates degree as a Networking Specialist, but its hard because at least for this semester I can only take two classes and I'm going to have to pay for it my self. I tried to get a loan but since I just got a credit card a month ago, I don't have any credit history and all of the institutions will only consider me if I get a cosigner, which my parents are smart enough not to take on for me. This semester is only going to run me $1553 so I am going to have to take the schools payment plan and put the rest on my credit card which has a limit of $2000. I can make the monthly payments, and hopefully by the end of this semester I will have a good enough credit history and score that I can get a loan so I can go to school full time.

I really do hope I will be eligible for loans after this spring semester is over, because I can't afford to keep putting the tuition and everything els on my credit card, I would only ever be able to take 2 classes per semester and I don't want to risk losing my job and and having to use my savings to pay off the debt because I can't afford to ruin my credit score. On top of all of that, there is the ever looming threat of me getting kicked out of the house, which then kicks me off base because I would no longer be a military dependant. On just over a $1000 a month in average wages from my job, I couldn't afford jack shit for affordable housing, not even mentioning that I barely know how to take care of my self.

…

On the relationship side of events, things with my long distance girlfriend always feel on the verge of falling apart. Hell, she hasn't talked to me in over a week which is abnormal, so it may be over now anyway, which is a type of sadness that I don't even want to think about at the moment. Sometimes I think I should just end it with her, I honestly don't know what we have to offer each other besides mutual (from me at least) love and affection.
God, man, I don't know what to do when it comes to her. She is the only girl I have ever really loved, and I mean love. Sure I have crushed on other girls before, every guy has, but her...she's my first real love. I know we can't let things stand the way they currently are between us (she may have even ended it already), but I don't believe I would know how to handle the heart wrenching pain of either me leaving her or her leaving me.

...
...
...
Women are cruel and unusual creatures, to have such sway over men's hearts and be so inconsiderate...

...I wonder if woman think the same about us.