JE#9 WANTS

12/28/2015 9:13am




I wonder if its normal to just want to go off on someone when they make you mad, but of course in today's economy giving in to such an urge would easily get you fired.

So I'm off for today and tomorrow, but then I work 7 days straight, which is totally going to suck. Also: I have to get lessons from my dad on how to drive a stick shift, and I will need to have that mastered before the 11th of January.




12/29/15. 12:42pm



So for the past 2 days I have been learning how to drive a stick shift. At first my dad was teaching me, which is hard when he is yelling at me for every little thing I do wrong. His idea of teaching is that if you can learn how to do something when you have him with you (the equivalent of a Drill Sergeant), then you can do it anywhere under any circumstances.
I will admit though, while on paper that may sound good in theory, It does not, however, sound good when you are on the receiving end in practice.
So for the last two lessons, my brother who already knows how to drive stick has been teaching me, and under him I have made more progress.




12/30/15 9:04am



I just popped 3 Benadryl about 20 minuets ago so it should kick in here in half an hour or so and put me to sleep.

I have been thinking a lot about what I want in life and so far I have it down to these few things:

1. A loving wife.

2. A good paying job to provide for said wife and my self.

3. To build a family with my wife.


I think that would bring me happiness, everything els would just be a means to the above mentioned ends. What more could I ask for than a companion to share my life with? Someone special to love, to trust, to hold and adore. Someone I could have kids with.

That's my dream, the goal, really.
It seems so hard though, me being perceived as anti social, awkward, a general sarcastic asshole, and clingy by the only girl I have ever loved. Sometimes I think there is no one out there for me, but then I remember that there are over 7 billion people on earth, so its a rather unlikely thought.

Anyway, how does the saying go?

Fair heart never won fair lady.